The Wingman Chronicles

The Wingman Chronicles by James Holeva Excerpt
She was a sweet looking girl-next-door with an infectious smile and strawberry blonde hair. She was a fan of mine who’d seen my show in the city and was a year older than me but looked twenty-three.
Noelle had “liked” a few Facebook statuses in the past, but lately was liking more and more of the filthy jokes, creepin’ tips, blogs and videos I’d post. I was doing my usual show pimping and left her a comment asking if she was coming to the next gig. Within a few minutes she sent me a private message telling me she wouldn’t miss it. She also mentioned that she had read a blog post of mine called “The Mental Orgasm” and wanted to know if I really had the ability to do that to a girl. I had barely finished reading that message before another one popped up. She apologized if she had offended me, explaining that she was a bit tipsy.
I certainly wasn’t offended, and I signed on and we began to chat. Noelle told me in subsequent messages how she was on the rebound, damaged, and on the prowl. In other words, my kinda lady.
“If you’re not married, I’ll fuck you,” she said.
“Well I’m not married. When are we doing this?” I replied.
“Would you think it was weird if I called you Daddy?” Noelle asked.
“Of course not,” I replied. “How is that weird?”
It’s a shame what this world’s come to where guys have a problem being called Daddy by a broad their cock is inside.
We exchanged numbers, and she immediately began sending me naked pictures of herself—tits, twat, even face.
“I’m not a pussy,” she said. “But you’ll delete them, right?”
“Of course,” I replied. “What kind of guy do you think I am?”
Obviously I didn’t delete them. Deleting naked pictures a girl sends you is like being given a pan of baked ziti and throwing away the leftovers. I’m Italian and my family would consider that sacrilege.
Although she didn’t ask, I reciprocated by sending her a picture of my cock. I photograph well and I like to show off the work.
“Wow. You like to hurt your victims, don’t you?” she said.
“I just like to leave my mark,” I responded.
“I can’t wait for you to leave it on me.”
“You look great naked.”
“Thanks.”
“How tall are you?”
“5’4…Petite. Yourself?”
“5’9.”
“Very nice. Perfect size for me to get on my knees while you pull my hair and I gag on your cock.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
She asked me to come over, but I was in bed and in need of a manscape, so I declined and told her we’d get together soon. I fell asleep wondering if once the alcohol wore off, would she have inhibitions, or would it make her yearn for me more.
I got my answer the next morning when I woke up to find a Facebook message from her.
“Ha ha ha hope you wake up with a huge hard on!!  ”
I was thinking about that message on the drive home from the evening’s show in South Jersey, and as I started to get wood I sent her a text.
“Hey what’s up?” I wrote.
“Fuck me,” she replied.
Ah, what a nice girl. I’d manscaped earlier so I was ready to make a good impression. I headed to the Brooklyn dive bar that she’d been slopping around for the better part of the evening.
I had barely got out of the car before she jumped up on me, pushing me back against it and passionately mauling me like the love of her life had just returned from war. She grinded her pussy against my cock, reaching down and feeling my hard-on as if she wanted to make sure I hadn’t lost it in battle. I kissed her, looking into her wide eyes, which looked beautiful even if they were a little bloodshot. She was sloppy drunk, but still looked cute and innocent.
I kissed her and spun us around so that she was up against the car. Pulling her tits out of her teal blouse, I felt the lovely handfuls and sucked on them. They had the perkiness and firm nature of fake tits but were clearly real. I sucked on her nipple,
enjoying that first taste of tit, but then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed some shady characters walking by.
Noelle lay back on the front of my Benz, sporting a sinister yet cute grin.
“Fuck me right here,” she said, as she ground her nails into my sides.
“Ahh, ahh … I would, but we might get shot. Let’s get you outta the ‘hood.”
She smiled and kissed me, feeling the back of my hair and putting her tongue in my ear.
I drove us the few blocks to her apartment as Noelle kissed my neck, rubbing my cock the entire time.
Noelle led me up into her abode, grabbing my ass while sticking her hands inside my tight jeans and boxer briefs.
“You want me lick your ass?” she asked.
“No … But we’ll find something for you to do,” I said.
Noelle responded by ripping my pants off and swallowing my cock like a fat guy trying to be inconspicuous as he devours a tray of free samples at the grocery store.
She had medium cock-sucking lips and they felt amazing as she undulated intensely, savoring all of my illustrious eight while cradling my balls and sucking on them as if they were cherry Jolly Ranchers. I pulled her hair and pushed her head down.
“Oh Daddy, your cock tastes so good,” she looked up and told me. “I’m choking
on it.”
She garbled some gibberish as she sucked me deeper and I jammed it down her throat. “That’s so sweet of you,” I said. “You fucking whore.”
Some girls don’t like being called degrading names, but given the fact that she was calling me “Daddy” and doing her best to “choke on my cock,” I knew she was different.
Noelle was amazing—from the feel of her mouth to her rhythmically varying positions, intense passion and impeccable attention to detail. When I finally came in her mouth she gave a thorough pornstar swallow, guzzling the massive load with enthusiasm. It was one of the most awe-inspiring blowjobs I’d ever received. “Oh my God that was great,” I said. “I’ll be ready to go again in a few minutes.”
We lay together on her bed, bullshitting, joking and flirting as anyone would on a first date.
“I usually get hard again quicker than this,” I said as we shared a cigarette. “I had a long day—did a show and drove five hours—but I’ll be ready to go again soon.”
“You wanna wait till another day?” she asked.
“No, no,” I said. “I just need a few minutes.”
She let out a sigh as she lay back and smiled, looking at me like it was prom night and I was about to take her virginity. “I really like you James,” she said. “You’re cool.”
“You’re cool, too, baby,” I said.
It was a genuine moment. Not the type of moment when you’re coming on a girl’s face, but something that could occur even if our genitals weren’t on display. Noelle kept grabbing at my flaccid dong, but I still wasn’t ready to go. I’m a guy who could go again and again, but she had sucked a lot out of me.
I fingered her. She felt so good—warm, gooey and sweet. I stuck my fingers in her mouth letting her slurp up her own secretions. Jealous of her enjoyment of the tasty treat I thought it was time I sampled it. I stuck my fingers back in her pussy and licked them. The sight of my enjoyment of her juice had already brought her near climax.
“Ohhh fuck me, Daddy!”’ Noelle moaned as her eyes crossed.
Instead I continued to tease her pussy, waiting for my cock to get back into battle position.
“I want it so bad! Ohh … Ohh,” Noelle persisted.
As she lay back and pushed my head down with her hands, I stuck my face between her legs. I liked the way she pulled my hair while I licked her clit. In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to go down on a girl who had fucked me within minutes of meeting me, but damn, she had the best tasting cunt I ever ate. With some girls it was work to eat pussy—like eating a shitty meal at a relative’s house—but this was something I’d pay for again and again even if it was overpriced.
“Oh god, James … Oh … Fuck me Daddy, fuck me!” Noelle grabbed her tit and sucked her finger.
I subtly rubbed my cock on the bed, desperately trying to harden as I ate her warm cunt and squeezed her ass. I slapped her buttocks as I shot my tongue up inside her.
“I’m almost there,” I said, closing my eyes to conjure perverted thoughts and pressing my dong into the mattress.
I figured I could get her to where she was about to explode and then muster up some semblance of a hard-on inside her, and ride it out until she got off.
“I want that cock … Give me that big dick, baby. Give me that big dick,” Noelle insisted in her best phone sex operator voice.
I felt around, grabbing for my condom as my face remained buried in her crotch. I pulled up and got it open. Grabbing my cock for a few rubs, I pulled on the condom. My hard-on was back.
I pushed it inside her and began to thrust. The hardness immediately increased, taking me back toward maximum capacity. “Oh yeah, fucking so big, Daddy!” she yelled. Fucking so big.”
I sucked her tits as I thrust. “Fuck me, Daddy! Fuck me!” she continued.
I was back at full gyration, squeezing her ass as I pushed my cock in and out of her stellar vagina.
“You like that, you whore?” I said. “Are you my fucking whore?”
“Yeah, Daddy, yeah,” she panted. “Fuck. Fuck!”
“Come on whore, come on you fucking whore!”
I pulled her hair and thrust harder.
“Oh god,” I said. “Your tight pussy feels so good you whore. You like it? You like my cock? Is it big, baby? Is it big?”
“It’s so fucking big, Daddy! Fuck me with your big cock, Daddy!”
“That’s right, you fucking whore! You’re my fucking little slut! Little goddamn trollop … You need to be punished, you bad little girl!”
“Punish me Daddy, punish me! I deserve it! I deserve it, Daddy!
I reared back, almost all the way out and then pushed back in, powerfully slamming her tight cunt repeatedly.
“Oh god,” she said. “Hurt me Daddy! Hurt me! Ohhh…Ohhh.”
“You like that,” I said. “You fucking whore! You like that!”
I slapped her ass hard.
“Oh Daddy, I’m so fucking bad!” she said. “I’m so fucking bad. Am I your whore … Am I your whore?”
She let out a squeal. If it had been any higher, only dogs could have heard it. “Oh yeah, you fucking whore!” I said.
I squeezed her ass tight as she dug her nails into my back, and continued her high-pitched moan.“Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah Daddy!”
She was coming so hard that she sounded on the verge of tears. I continued to thrust through it.
“Ohhh,” Noelle moaned. “Ohhh … Ohhh … Ohhh.”
“You coming, whore?” I said. “You coming for your Daddy?”
“I’m coming Daddy, I’m coming, I’m coming again.”
I kissed her intensely, nibbling her lower lip as I thrust. The squeals continued until her constricting pussy ultimately pushed my cock out, leaving me soft and tired. I didn’t get off, but she had three intense orgasms.
We lay next to each other, relishing the experience.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re Daddy’s little whore, aren’t you?
“Yes I am,” she sighed. “Ohhh you’re the best Daddy in the whole world.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
To see what else happens with Noelle “The Girl Next Whore” and other broads and uncouth adventures order “The Wingman Chronicles” right here in paperback or Ebook.
 
 
Author Bio:
James Holeva, aka “The Wingman” is a filthy comedian/author/actor/lothario who enjoys having sex in bedrooms, backseats & bathroom stalls. His humorous, erotic, autobiographical novel “The Wingman Chronicles” has gained a legion of fans all over the world, and been described as a male version of fifty shades without the fantasy elements. The bad boy’s raw and in-your-face way with words extends to his energetic standup comedy shows which have more the atmosphere of a rock concert than a typical comedy show. In addition to his abilities as a writer, his shows are always different as he uses his charm and rapid-fire wit to keep the audience guessing, laughing, and blushing. Holeva sells out shows all over the country, answers sex questions in his #askwingman Q & A portion of the show and has his female fans fighting over being included in his signature on-stage spanking encore. He was voted 2013 reader’s choice best comedian by The Weekender readers.
 As an actor he starred in “The Wingman” TV Pilot, which he also wrote and produced, and it just won Best Pilot at the Hoboken International Film Festival. Holeva is hard at work touring the United States doing standup, as well as writing and of course researching his next book. He’s currently working on putting together a film based on “The Wingman Chronicles,” as well as has plans to record a standup comedy DVD, and tour abroad. His meet and greet/book signings are as crazy as his shows as he usually signs as many boobs as he does books, and asses too of course.

Email:wingmanfans@gmail.com

Friend him at Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jamesholeva
Like “The Wingman” on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/LetsGetCreepin?fref=ts
Twitter: www.twitter.com/wingmanbiz
cover pic possible live shot
Comedy/Book Tour Dates
 All standup shows followed directly by meet and greets, book signings!
Wayne, NJ
Friday, July 19th, 9 p.m.
Gabriel’s Restaurant
95 Mountain View Blvd.
Call 201-336-2486 for Tickets
Boston, Mass
Friday, July 26, 8 p.m.
West End Johnnie’s
138 Portland St.
Order tickets: http://wingman-boston.eventbrite.com
Philadelphia, PA
Saturday, August 17, 8 p.m.
Noche
1901 Chestnut St.
Order tickets: http://wingmanphillynoche.eventbrite.com
Playlist: (thank you Kimberly Knight for the Spotfly hook up)
Videos:
This one is of Playboy model, Rachel Robbins, dressed in lingerie, reading from the book.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Duwd5YRbWKSk%26feature%3Dyoutu.be&h=JAQHNnDc2
This video is James’ tv pilot he won an award for at the Hoboken International Film Festival earlier this year. http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D5T8vXGxJwDs&h=JAQHNnDc2

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